Acceptance of what IS.
This is the first step in any journey, and most notably in our personal growth toward creating a life of true fulfillment.
When we deny our starting point, we cannot move forward.
Remember those wild, godless days of… printed maps? Before we could easily locate ourselves on a tiny screen? Rand McNally would happily sell you a spiral bound tome detailing Anywhere and Everywhere, USA.
If you had no idea where you WERE, that collection of pages might as well be the cheat codes to Super Mario Bros.
It doesn’t matter how many times you pointed emphatically at the map and said “But I SHOULD be here, I took a right at the gas station and then three miles to the World’s Largest Ball of Twine, where is it???”
You could stand there all day long and lament, wanting desperately to be somewhere else.
No matter where you thought you SHOULD be, you ain’t there yet.
And until you accept that, you’ll stay lost. Hope you packed some Larabars.
This is the pain and pleasure principle at work: not enough pleasure associated with what’s on the other side and too much pain associated with getting there. Accepting what is might mean we ultimately have to take action to change the situation if we want a better outcome, and that scares us for different reasons (fear of failure, fear of…you get the idea). Or, as in our road trip example, admitting we’re lost to a mild-mannered gas station attendant. Tip: Care less about what other people think, focus more on your desired outcome, and you’ll waste a hell of a lot less time being stuck.
For others, resistance to accepting “what is” is an unspoken fear that acceptance = giving up.
“If I accept where I am, who I am, won’t I get lazy? Lose my drive? Stop achieving?”
JUST. FUCKING. NO.
It’s actually the OPPOSITE. When we accept what is, we can START the journey…the journey that takes us to real love, authenticity, and fulfillment. Then your motivation and drive is even MORE potent, because it comes from a pure and grounded place, not fear and scarcity.
Acceptance of “what is” is the only place from which we can launch into any creation or change. Otherwise we remain in a stalemate, locking horns with reality, telling it that it shouldn’t be what it is. Exhausting. Draining. Sound familiar?
Let’s try an experiment.
No matter the laundry list of things you tell yourself you SHOULD be, SHOULD do, or SHOULDN’T feel….
(I should lose weight, I shouldn’t hate my job, I shouldn’t be upset about that, I shouldn’t be heartbroken, I shouldn’t feel this way, I should be doing more, I should save more, I should pay off my debt, I should be married by now, I should have a child by now, I should be smarter, prettier, thinner, taller, stronger…should, should, should, should, SHOULD)
Just for now, accept where you ARE, wherever you are.
Accept what you FEEL, and let it be okay.
Accept whatever you’ve been avoiding or denying.
As an example, if your acceptance is that you’ve never known your own worth, then you must start there…see the places that’s shown up in your life and how it’s kept you from having what you really want. No shame, no guilt, and for the love of all that is holy, NO SHOULDING on yourself.
Accept your starting point, just as it is.
…and start from this moment of “what is” as the first courageous step to creating more of what you DO want.
Sparkle on, friends.